The world is obsessed with winners and losers. What was the score, the outcome, the result? Let’s be objective. Make sure goals are specific. Make sure everything is measurable. Make sure we know if are victorious.

But is that it? You score more points and that’s winning. Is that really what matters? It would seems so. Bribing people with paychecks and promotions and status ~ passing out crumbs of supposed meaning. Because a BMW says winner and we all want that.

But what about how? And why do we have this other message – opposing message –  that some people find. The message about process. The message about the importance of how.

How did they score more points or get the savings account brimming with paper. What is the manner in which they interact with other people. Some of us – most of us – when given the chance will let go of the trappings of success and winning and such, and work to help each other out. Collaboration rather than competition. Together we go further and faster and reap the rewards.

Leaders and captains we need, bullies and gloaters not so much. So how do we move from a “me” to “we” mentality. I think is is by questioning what it is we’re chasing. Who are the inspirations over time? It isn’t the braggart but the joiner. The one that lends their talent to the common cause but doesn’t downplay the contribution of everyone else.

other“We” is natural if our focus is on what we have in common, what we share, the similarities. If we make the other familiar then “we” thinking is the result (the one that really matters). That is how we win. That is how we succeed. United we stand and divided we fall – simple as that.

Together we thrive and apart we will not survive. Right now there is more news and stories and talk about what is going on rather than how. The economy is still not ideal. Students aren’t ranking on the world stage so we need to push harder. People are happier in other countries. The U.S. is not first in many things. And despite efforts to rig systems and leverage scores we fall further behind.

We have lost our moral ideas that look at how we get to the goal and focused only on the end. I feel it is time to reconnect with the means. Because it is getting too hard to justify our methods. It’s become madness – a dis-ease too uncomfortable to bear anymore. Let’s look at how we do. Let’s look at the process and the purpose more and let the results be less important. Let’s play the game fair.

Use your talent (whatever your talent is) to coach those who don’t have it. That is our duty. To use our strength to lift others up, not to keep them down. When we forget about the how – the humbleness – it becomes far to easy to put winning above all else. To oppress the other (and everyone is other). When we elevate the importance – the value – of how we do things then we all reach a higher potential. “We” replaces “me.”

Make this a week of focusing on how you do things. Are you working from a “me” or “we” platform? Each day complete one Purposeful Act of Kindness.

Thanks as always,

With civility ~ Brian