Affirmations are the highway to a better self – or so we’re told. The issue with affirmations is people often are affirming the opposite.

“I am smart.”

Followed by: except when I did that, or not as smart as…, or yeah right.

See, most of the positive affirmations are actually aspirations. And those are all well and good, but not when we are dishonest with ourselves about what they are.

The dissonance creates havoc in our heads that needs resolution. Usually this is accomplished with damaging self statements. Rarely do we take the action needed to make such statements true.

It’s better to start with true affirmations –  affirming what is true. Some of this comes from being specific, and tying in what we feel about that event.

“I felt smart yesterday when I knew the answer to that pop quiz.”

“I felt helpful when assisting that lady across the street.”

Using what is true, and validating our experience is far more motivating toward change. It takes more work that just saying what we want to be. But the rewards are far greater.

So seek out what is positive within your experience and affirm that.

Thanks as always,

With civility – Brian

Advertisements